Guantanamo Bay Resort

One of the greatest men that have walked on this land said "I have a Dream." He also said that all humans are created equal. And this is true. Except one thing is not equal, and that is your mentality. The reason why we all have a different mentality is that this mentality determines who we really are. And this brings us to Guantanamo Bay prison. The Bush Administration keeps saying that when we catch a terrorist, we'll bring them to justice. The American justice is like a rubber band. You can twist, you can stretch, you can bend, and you can break it. And when you break it, you can buy it.

So in reality, there is no real justice because many politicians believe that they are above the law. Do you remember the O.J. Simpson trial? We're still trying to figure out if the glove doesn't fit, or if the condom doesn't fit. And recently, he was trying to tell the world that IF he did it, here's how. Welcome to the American justice system. Several weeks ago, some war protester went to Guantanamo Bay to protest against the government. These people need to get a life or a job. Better yet, why don't you go into the middle of the street in Baghdad and see if anyone has any sympathy for you. The way we see Guantanamo Bay is nothing more and nothing less than a resort, not a prison. If we look at where these people come from, you'll find that these people live in worse conditions than a bunch of pigs. They eat in the same place as where they shit and wipe their ass with a rock, not paper. They don't have any dreams about life, and their clothes and breath smell like ass. If we compare these people with the rats that they live with, the rats have a better environment. So when you bring these people to Guantanamo Bay its like living in a fancy resort. And yet, some American and foreign people are protesting about the conditions at Guantanamo Bay.

Early this month, the Iraqi government hanged Saddam in the style of the old west. Italy launched a protest to the United Nations, saying that this is inhumane. Also, early this month the state of Florida executed a criminal in their prison. Some are protesting that it took too long for the criminal to die.

So this brings us to some conclusion: What should we do with these terrorists in Guantanamo Bay? So we asked one expert and he said that because we're in America, we're supposed to be civilized. We therefore shouldn't kill these people. What we should do is after we collect the information, we should cut off their tongue so that they can't speak and then cut off their fingers so that they can't raise arms against us. Then set them free. If at some point you have extra room in Guantanamo Bay, let us know. We'd like to take a vacation with all expenses paid.

The French Dis-connect

The French government said that they will pull their troops out of Afghanistan. The report said that the French troops are not able to hold their position because its too rough for them. This news is no big surprise. If you ask some members of the European Union they will tell you off the record that the French are a bunch of Zig-Zags. In America, they call it flip flopping. The last time the French had a decent leader, it was Napoleon. But the one thing that caught our attention was that Napolean's mistress was a prostitute. History told us that when Napoleon had sex with that prostitute, she was not happy with his performance, so he decided to let his army have some sex. He let the whole battalion have sex and after she went through the battalion, she replied that she wanted more. So Napoleon was pissed off and he decided to give her something special. He decided to let his horse have some pleasure. After she was done, she replied that it felt good, but she wanted more! Keep in mind that history speaks for itself. Our job is to decipher the truth and bring you the true facts.

Anyway, today most of us know that France is the capital for the best prostitutes in the world. So, being that the French troops are not able to fight the war against terrorists, the best thing the French can do is to send some of the women that they have to Afghanistan, and if you have some extra, send them to Iraq. We are trying to figure to out how many we need. If one woman can take care of one battalion, you don't need to many. Let's say you send us 100 to Afghanistan and 100 to Iraq that would be enough. Keep in mind, the one thing our troops in the coalition need is good sex, to ease their frustration. We've been down this road before and at the same time all the good prostitutes could generate enough money for your country. This way you don't have to steal money from the Iraqi people through the Oil For Food Program.