Grandpa
Grandpa, we are sorry if sometimes we don't bring you information fast enough. We also have bills to pay. Anyway, if you are a grandpa and we don't know you, you are welcome to our conversation. Keep in mind that in our circle we have grandpas from multiple nationalities. But the two we are talking about - one is irish and one is italian. This is a wild combination.
Grandpa Jimmy is from Ireland and Grandpa John is from Italy. Sometimes my friend and I get together and we go out drinking. Everytime I start talking to a pretty woman, Grandpa John comes over and says 'let me handle this pretty woman. I have more experience.' Then Grandpa Jimmy comes along and tells Grandpa John 'why don't you leave these women alone, you crazy man?' - and all hell breaks loose. You also need to know that Grandpa Jimmy is a Democrat and Grandpa John is a Republican.
So when Rush Limbaugh called that pretty woman a slut and a prostitute - oh, before I forget, do you know Rush was arrested in Florida 15 years ago for buying drugs. He was he was politically motivated. Bullshit! Anyway, when the Republicans declared war on women I called Grandpa John and asked him 'why do Republicans try to punish women over birth control?' Grandpa John says he doesn't understand modern Republicans. They are like the Taliban and they want to keep women as slaves. But Grandpa John told me that once he had a crush on Nancy Pelosi, when she was speaker of the house. He said that he translated Pelosi into Italian and that means that she's 'bushy'. Grandpa Johnny said he would love to fertilize her. I asked Grandpa John what his wish would be before he died. He said he wanted to die like Rockafeller, the past Governor of NY. He was having sex with his secretary and had a heart-attack. Grandpa said, 'if I die, that's the way I'd like to die.' But if his wife found out about this he would be in big trouble. But I know he would never cheat on Grandma because he has told me before that God has already sent him an angel.
Anyway, 20 years ago, we were on an island between Greece, Libya and Sicily. One day the local people had a local market on the street. An old man was selling black pepper and was telling the people that if your husband can't get a hard-on, give him some black pepper. At the time we didn't pay too much attention. But 5 years ago, I went to visit some of my relatives in Central NY we went out for dinner to an Italian restaurant. The waitress brought the salad to the table and an old man came to the table - he asked if we would like some black pepper on the salad. I asked 'does the black pepper change the flavor?'
The old man came close to my ear and said 'no, but you'll get laid tonight' - and I had a flashback to what the man said on the island many years ago. What's the secret? The secret has been around for thousands of years - that black pepper stimulates sex. Apply fresh ground black pepper 2-3 times a day to your food. Don't use pepper that's already ground up because it has lost its strength. So for all the old grandpas around the world - now you know what we know.
Before we complete this report we'd like to share a few other secrets. In the old days they always said the doctor will kill you and the priest will bury you. Romney OR Obama Health Care is a joke. Years ago most of us spent many years in Europe and when we went to the doctor he gave you a prescription. Before you left the office the doctor told you he didn't want to see your face for another two years. In America, doctors and hospitals are racketeering. When you see a doctor or go to the hospital for something stupid, they will tell you to come back again next month, have this blood work, that blood work. In other words this is just a scam to keep you coming again and again.
If you allow the doctor to jump on their merry-go-round, he will make you spin until he sucks all your money as well as all the government's money. An after, they will tell you - 'sorry, there is no cure for your problem'.
Let us give you some true facts. How many times have you gone to the doctor and you see so many people from Asia? You don't - they also are not fat. The reason is that they eat what you refuse to eat. Grandpa Jimmy is a friend from Lebanon. Every Spring before the dandelion blooms they make dandelion wine. For thousands of years throughout the Middle East and Europe, people pick the dandelions from the old roads when they are tender. In the Middle East they make salads with them. In Europe they marinate, boil and eat the dandelion. The dandelion has been considered one of the most healthy plants on earth, but in America we spend millions of dollars to kill it!
Grandpa Jimmy is from Ireland and Grandpa John is from Italy. Sometimes my friend and I get together and we go out drinking. Everytime I start talking to a pretty woman, Grandpa John comes over and says 'let me handle this pretty woman. I have more experience.' Then Grandpa Jimmy comes along and tells Grandpa John 'why don't you leave these women alone, you crazy man?' - and all hell breaks loose. You also need to know that Grandpa Jimmy is a Democrat and Grandpa John is a Republican.
So when Rush Limbaugh called that pretty woman a slut and a prostitute - oh, before I forget, do you know Rush was arrested in Florida 15 years ago for buying drugs. He was he was politically motivated. Bullshit! Anyway, when the Republicans declared war on women I called Grandpa John and asked him 'why do Republicans try to punish women over birth control?' Grandpa John says he doesn't understand modern Republicans. They are like the Taliban and they want to keep women as slaves. But Grandpa John told me that once he had a crush on Nancy Pelosi, when she was speaker of the house. He said that he translated Pelosi into Italian and that means that she's 'bushy'. Grandpa Johnny said he would love to fertilize her. I asked Grandpa John what his wish would be before he died. He said he wanted to die like Rockafeller, the past Governor of NY. He was having sex with his secretary and had a heart-attack. Grandpa said, 'if I die, that's the way I'd like to die.' But if his wife found out about this he would be in big trouble. But I know he would never cheat on Grandma because he has told me before that God has already sent him an angel.
Anyway, 20 years ago, we were on an island between Greece, Libya and Sicily. One day the local people had a local market on the street. An old man was selling black pepper and was telling the people that if your husband can't get a hard-on, give him some black pepper. At the time we didn't pay too much attention. But 5 years ago, I went to visit some of my relatives in Central NY we went out for dinner to an Italian restaurant. The waitress brought the salad to the table and an old man came to the table - he asked if we would like some black pepper on the salad. I asked 'does the black pepper change the flavor?'
The old man came close to my ear and said 'no, but you'll get laid tonight' - and I had a flashback to what the man said on the island many years ago. What's the secret? The secret has been around for thousands of years - that black pepper stimulates sex. Apply fresh ground black pepper 2-3 times a day to your food. Don't use pepper that's already ground up because it has lost its strength. So for all the old grandpas around the world - now you know what we know.
Before we complete this report we'd like to share a few other secrets. In the old days they always said the doctor will kill you and the priest will bury you. Romney OR Obama Health Care is a joke. Years ago most of us spent many years in Europe and when we went to the doctor he gave you a prescription. Before you left the office the doctor told you he didn't want to see your face for another two years. In America, doctors and hospitals are racketeering. When you see a doctor or go to the hospital for something stupid, they will tell you to come back again next month, have this blood work, that blood work. In other words this is just a scam to keep you coming again and again.
If you allow the doctor to jump on their merry-go-round, he will make you spin until he sucks all your money as well as all the government's money. An after, they will tell you - 'sorry, there is no cure for your problem'.
Let us give you some true facts. How many times have you gone to the doctor and you see so many people from Asia? You don't - they also are not fat. The reason is that they eat what you refuse to eat. Grandpa Jimmy is a friend from Lebanon. Every Spring before the dandelion blooms they make dandelion wine. For thousands of years throughout the Middle East and Europe, people pick the dandelions from the old roads when they are tender. In the Middle East they make salads with them. In Europe they marinate, boil and eat the dandelion. The dandelion has been considered one of the most healthy plants on earth, but in America we spend millions of dollars to kill it!
posted by Max at 11:46 AM
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