Grandpa

Grandpa, we are sorry if sometimes we don't bring you information fast enough. We also have bills to pay. Anyway, if you are a grandpa and we don't know you, you are welcome to our conversation. Keep in mind that in our circle we have grandpas from multiple nationalities. But the two we are talking about - one is irish and one is italian. This is a wild combination.

Grandpa Jimmy is from Ireland and Grandpa John is from Italy. Sometimes my friend and I get together and we go out drinking. Everytime I start talking to a pretty woman, Grandpa John comes over and says 'let me handle this pretty woman. I have more experience.' Then Grandpa Jimmy comes along and tells Grandpa John 'why don't you leave these women alone, you crazy man?' - and all hell breaks loose. You also need to know that Grandpa Jimmy is a Democrat and Grandpa John is a Republican.

So when Rush Limbaugh called that pretty woman a slut and a prostitute - oh, before I forget, do you know Rush was arrested in Florida 15 years ago for buying drugs. He was he was politically motivated. Bullshit! Anyway, when the Republicans declared war on women I called Grandpa John and asked him 'why do Republicans try to punish women over birth control?' Grandpa John says he doesn't understand modern Republicans. They are like the Taliban and they want to keep women as slaves. But Grandpa John told me that once he had a crush on Nancy Pelosi, when she was speaker of the house. He said that he translated Pelosi into Italian and that means that she's 'bushy'. Grandpa Johnny said he would love to fertilize her. I asked Grandpa John what his wish would be before he died. He said he wanted to die like Rockafeller, the past Governor of NY. He was having sex with his secretary and had a heart-attack. Grandpa said, 'if I die, that's the way I'd like to die.' But if his wife found out about this he would be in big trouble. But I know he would never cheat on Grandma because he has told me before that God has already sent him an angel.

Anyway, 20 years ago, we were on an island between Greece, Libya and Sicily. One day the local people had a local market on the street. An old man was selling black pepper and was telling the people that if your husband can't get a hard-on, give him some black pepper. At the time we didn't pay too much attention. But 5 years ago, I went to visit some of my relatives in Central NY we went out for dinner to an Italian restaurant. The waitress brought the salad to the table and an old man came to the table - he asked if we would like some black pepper on the salad. I asked 'does the black pepper change the flavor?'

The old man came close to my ear and said 'no, but you'll get laid tonight' - and I had a flashback to what the man said on the island many years ago. What's the secret? The secret has been around for thousands of years - that black pepper stimulates sex. Apply fresh ground black pepper 2-3 times a day to your food. Don't use pepper that's already ground up because it has lost its strength. So for all the old grandpas around the world - now you know what we know.

Before we complete this report we'd like to share a few other secrets. In the old days they always said the doctor will kill you and the priest will bury you. Romney OR Obama Health Care is a joke. Years ago most of us spent many years in Europe and when we went to the doctor he gave you a prescription. Before you left the office the doctor told you he didn't want to see your face for another two years. In America, doctors and hospitals are racketeering. When you see a doctor or go to the hospital for something stupid, they will tell you to come back again next month, have this blood work, that blood work. In other words this is just a scam to keep you coming again and again.

If you allow the doctor to jump on their merry-go-round, he will make you spin until he sucks all your money as well as all the government's money. An after, they will tell you - 'sorry, there is no cure for your problem'.

Let us give you some true facts. How many times have you gone to the doctor and you see so many people from Asia? You don't - they also are not fat. The reason is that they eat what you refuse to eat. Grandpa Jimmy is a friend from Lebanon. Every Spring before the dandelion blooms they make dandelion wine. For thousands of years throughout the Middle East and Europe, people pick the dandelions from the old roads when they are tender. In the Middle East they make salads with them. In Europe they marinate, boil and eat the dandelion. The dandelion has been considered one of the most healthy plants on earth, but in America we spend millions of dollars to kill it!

The Clown

Over two years ago, the Justice Department and the FBI in NY arrested 120 members of the five mafia families. Some that were charged with trying to squeeze the unions for money and some loan sharking, and smuggling cigarettes. We are impressed that the Justice Department don't know what happened on Wall St. Those bankers stole trillions of taxpayer dollars and at the same time not only destroyed America but also destroyed Europe. And the only thing the Justice Department is able to do is go after the mafia - a small cockroach.

But let us analyze what has taken place here. First of all, the union was originated by the mafia. The difference between the union and the mafia is that the union has a permit. As for the cigarettes, the government is the real criminal. They impose a $5 tax on a pack of cigarettes, so in NY a pack costs about $10 and 3 packs cost about $30. you could buy the whole carton of cigarettes for $30 on the black market. Now, as for the loan sharks, the mafia charges about 25% interest. In the old days, if you didn't pay, you'll kill you. Today they are more civilized. They'll only kick your ass.

Now let's compare what a bank charges. At Citibank, if you have a credit card and you're late with one payment, they don't come and kick your ass, they simply destroy your credit for the rest of your life. And when you're late they'll charge you basically 30% interest on your balance. So they charge more than the mafia. If you are wondering how this is possible-that the banks charge more than the mafia, it's because they have a fucking permit. So if you are a member of the mafia, pay attention you little cockroach. the 1920 mentality must go. At some point you must grow up. The first thing you must do is create a corporation - the loan shark corporation. Then you need to have a permit. After you have that, you can play the same game like Mitt Romney or Donald Trump. You screw the American people from the left, and then from the right. Then, after you start making less money and hire a good accountant, they will find every scam and loophole in the tax code and at the end of the year you will not pay any tax.

After you little cockroaches have too much money, you can hide it in a foreign country like Mitt Romney, so you don't pay tax. Let the middle classes pay all the tax because they are too busy trying to make a living. According to Super Mario, who is in charge of the banks in Italy, the Italian banks are stable. However, he acknowledges that the banks will not make too much profit because the Italian mafia has taken over the banking system. One thing is for sure, the mafia will not ask for a bailout.

Chavez's Suspicious Mind

If you are reading this message and it doesn't make any sense to you then we suggest that you need to read between the lines. Also, Chavez, we will not tell you everything you want to know, but we will tell you some of the things you want to know. First we need to clear up some confusion that you have in your suspicious mind. First, you need to know that 80% of the people in our circle are not Americans. It consists of multiple nationalities. 80% of the people in our circle were born in the house of the rising sun. This means that they were born in the city dump and you should know that if people if South America or other parts of the world are born in the city dump they will die in the city dump.

In America people have the opportunity to live a better life if they wish. In addition if you are wondering why we are here it's because we are working in secret for one man who doesn't have a pot to piss in. He was sent to hell by a mistake and our mission was to protect them and make sure that el diablo does not take his soul.

Several years ago when you went to NY to speak with the United Nations, you told the world that the devil was there - implying that it was Bush and that you smelled the sulfer. When you made this remark, El Diablo got mad. Now that you have cancer you are suspicious that El Diablo had something to do with it.

So this is the story. There is no secret that there IS a secret execution going on and the main targets are the leaders of different countries. This is led by one of the biggest criminals in Russia - named Putin and his old KGB friends. Members of the underworld organization call this poison R&R. R&R is consisted of two elements. Part A and Part B.

3 months ago, some Iranian tried to smuggle some nuclear rods from Moscow airport to Tehran. The Russians claimed this low radiation rod was for a medical purpose. 3 months later a top nuclear scientist was blown up in Tehran. The low nuclear radiation is part A. The secret is in Part B. To produce part B it does not require a lab, but you need the knowledge of how to produce. It looks and tastes like water. If you drink part B it will kill you but at a slow rate. Part A is applied to speed up the process. It's like when you have a margarita. The more alcohol you apply the quicker you get drunk. and R&R can be applied to water and food and it doesn't change the color or taste. We understand that you have a suspicious mind and think that the man you call El Diablo might have something to do with your problem. It's possible. Keep in mind that El Diablo and Putin call each other good friends. The question we are asking ourselves is who will be next? Maybe Putin needs to drink some of his own drink at some point.

The Rich and the Famous

Most of the American news organizations are telling us that capitalism is on trial. The truth is that these organizations are ignorant or lying. Capitalism is not on trial - who is on trial are the Capitalists. Capitalist and Capitalism are not the same - one ends in an M and one in a T. So we need to separate apples and oranges. The American people are not at war with Capitalism but with Capitalists.

So to make you understand the difference, we brought you two images of two people. The man in brown is Herman Cain and the younger man's identity will not be reveled however we'll give you his background. He's part of the money machine. He's not part of the 1% but he works for the 1%. His job is to make money for his customers, the honest way. That is Capitalism. Also, Cain took a business that was falling apart and reshaped it to make progress. The difference is that he didn't go to China to manufacture the pizza for fifty cents and sell to the Americans for 9.99. Cain is famous for his tax plan 9-9-9.

Now we'll tell you who the Capitalist is. We have one company that comes to mind - Verizon. Last year we had a house phone with Verizon and one month eh bill came in and it was $16 over. The bill said that we requested a voice message. We called the woman at Verizon that we never requested voice mail service. She replied that Voice mail was ordered through the computer. We told them that we don't have a computer. Well if you want the service taken off you need to call the voice mail company and have it disconnected. We tried to tell her the voice mail didn't send us the bill, Verizon did. After arguing with her, we told her to turn off the phone. We are saving $80 per month. They only people that are mad are the bill collectors, especially those bastards from Sally Mae. They call the house ten times a day looking for money for student loans.

So Verizon is not party of Capitalism, they are Capitalists. They try to screw their customers into paying for services they didn't request!

The DaVinci Code

To find the truth we need to go back in time. Not 5000 years but only 500 years back. You will find that all the laws were created by religion. This same system is being used in Iran and religion trumps the politicians. 500 years ago in Europe they had the same system. Anyone who spoke against the church was killed. DaVinci knew the truth, but he couldn’t reveal it to anyone otherwise his ass was grass.

Before his death, he revealed that when he painted the Mona Lisa he planted a secret code in the painting. Until now, no one has had the ability to find it. After Christopher Columbus discovered the New World and returned to Italy, he told the religious priests that the earth was not square but round. He was thrown in prison because he disagreed with the church. We don’t have time to give you all the details - we cut out the bullshit and will get to the point.

Many people at that time wouldn’t accept the brutality and the rule of the church so they came to the New World. After the colony was established, our founding fathers decided that America should be called the Free World- Freedom of Speech and Religion- NOT Freedom of Racketeering. They also made sure there was a separation of church and state. They made it so that no religion could preach where politicians assembled the law. They also made clear that this is a nation under God. Let’s stop for a moment. Do you know who God is? If you are a religious person or priest, you do not know God. If we all have one God, why are there all these different religions. The truth is - the only God you know is money. If people stop giving you money, they won’t have any God. Why don’t you tell the world that you are selling the name of God for a profit. Religion and politicians play the same game. Politicians sell their country for a profit. The separation of church and state is a sacred division like the separation of body and soul. Life is like a garden, you will cultivate only what you plant. It’s important that you separate illusion from reality. What takes place on this earth will remain on this earth. When you have some time, take a look at the image of your face in the mirror. That image doesn’t belong to you. Your wealth and your body will remain in this world.

Why do you think you will live forever? All humans were created equal. Why do you think you are superior? The only logical information we’ll give you is to take a look at the 10 Commandments. If you disagree with the 10th commandment, then the 9th commandment is the true secrets. Our founding fathers took pride in this because it’s not based on religion but rather on morals.

If you want to decipher the DaVinci code - you need a piece of paper, a pen and a small amount of intelligence. Let’s start from the beginning.

After Jesus was crucified, Peter told Mary and Madeline that it wasn’t safe to be there. So Peter went to Rome and brought a stone with him, along with Mary and Madeline. He picked a location and put the stone in the ground. He said that in this location, we will build the church now known as St. Peter’s. Peter also told Mary and Madeline that it wasn’t safe to be in Rome, so they went to France. We also know that Madeline was Jesus’ love and that she was pregnant. Some of Christ’s followers knew the identity but kept it secret generation to generation. The last name was Mona. The original name was Madeline, so they eliminated some letters, using the first letter “M” and the last two letters “MA” and added “O.” Keep in mind in those days, they only used their first name and nickname.

In 1499, Louis XII of France claimed that he was Pope. He divorced his wife he married, Anne, two years later 1501. He learned that Mona Lisa was a long distance relative of Madeline and the Pope wanted to “meet” her. If you are wondering why Mona is smiling in the picture its because she has many secrets. In order to decipher the DaVinci code, you need a machine that can take you back 600 years and the secret has been in front of you all along. The secret is that the first letter in “Lisa” - the L was manipulated. There is a secret in the eyes of the painting reveals a “T” “PP” and a “C”. If you take the two “L”s, turn them upside down and arrange them side by side you will have a “T”. If you turn an “L” upside down and make it face to the right, you will have a “P” (the letter L was written with a small tail on the end of it in those days). Now take the “L” away from Lisa you now have “Pisa.” If you put the T in - you will be taken to the Tower of Pisa. Now we have Tower, Pisa and the Pope. The only letter remaining is the “C” which brings us to the city of Conversano which is located in a part of Puglia and is also home to one of the oldest convents in Italy.

So Mona Lisa, she was a superstar to the top kings and the Pope. As a matter of fact, if you go to the Tuscany region today and someone calls you Mona, regardless if you are a man or a woman - they are actually calling you a big cunt.

The Machine

It has been said that the American government is too big. We agree. We have too many politicians on Capitol Hill. 99% of those politicians just pass laws that screw you, your children, your grandma and grandpa. Some suggest that we should take the judges on the Supreme Court and put them on Capitol Hill and put the people on Capitol Hill on Supreme Court. It seems as though not the politicians are acting like judges and the judges are acting like politicians.

The founding fathers warned us not to trust the politicians. When the old Bush went to China the Chinese told him that the Americans are lazy, fat and stupid. The Chinese knew that the American politicians were creating a monster that they cannot defeat. The Democrats' mentality it to put the whole world on welfare and the Republicans want to make the middle-class slaves.

Two years ago, the Republicans worked with the Tea Party, so when we were depressed we would drink tea. After one year, we realize that the tea was made in China. So now we changed parties. We have joined the Jesus Juice Party. And we are happy everyday. If you are wondering why we are calling you, the American military, it's because you are not fat, lazy or stupid. You were sent to war to make money for the capitalists and the politicians on Capitol Hill. After you did the dirty work you came home and they put your family on welfare. Their attitude is that you have chosen to go to the military. If you try to complain on Capitol Hill, they'll put you in jail.

This is the reason we are asking you and all Americans who want to participate in this invisible war. Most of the politicians have been screwing us for years. Now is the time to screw them - nice and easy. This is the plan.

Stop all contributions to both parties. If you love to contribute to money, give the money to the organizations that support the troops. The next election we can change everything. We must learn from mother nature. When Mother Nature brings us a storm, she doesn't say 'in this house lives good people and I need to save this house - and in the other house lives bad people, and I must destroy this house.'

It doesn't work that way. She destroys the bad and the good. So we need to punish both parties - the good and the bad. Keep in mind - you have plenty of time for elections. This is the way you will do it. If where you live you have a Republican in Congress, vote for the Democrat. If he is a Democrat, vote Republican. The whole idea is to elimninate the rats and cockroaches who have been on Capitol Hill for too long.

Blagojevich

In the early part of June 2011, we were in Queens, NY. As we were walking down the street, we saw a small store where they were selling peppermint flavored condoms, crying pussy devices and jack rabbit dick. But what caught our attention was a small sign on the window that said - Blagojevich vasoline. Buy one get one free. So we entered the store and asked the man what was so special about this vasaline. He said it had fine silica sand inside for better traction. We asked the man if they sell this vasoline in Chicago. He didn't know. We always were wondering if Blagojevich was a virgin. If he was, it's not for long...

The world needs to know the truth. Before you tried to sell Obama's seat, you took money from a foreign country and promised to sell them a piece of American pie. You AND your family took the money and you never delivered the piece of pie. Those people are pretty mad. They are waiting for you to go to jail and they want to send you a big dick. Not Dick Cheney, but the other dick.

Late in the afternoon we stopped at a small town outside of New York City to visit some of our Muslim friends. We stopped at a small bar to have a cold beer and there were six people sitting at a table. By the door was one old American politician. On the left was a middle aged Muslim man. We asked our friends what they think about the new law in New York allowing gays and lesbians to get married. He replied 'oh my God, I don't know why I'm very confused. Who is the bride and who is the groom?' One man that was seated on the right who had a mustache got up and said that he was just all about the money. He went on to say 'if you want to fuck a chicken or a donkey, all you need is a permit.'

Another man told the Muslim man 'soon you'll need a permit to fuck your wife! Did you know that if your wife refuses to have sex with you, she can call the police and have you arrested.' The Muslim man replied 'oh my God!'

The other man went on to say 'You see? The french millionaire wanted to screw that woman in NY and she got him arrested. Why did he get arrested? He didn't have a fucking permit. If he had a permit, he wouldn't go to jail.'

The man continued - 'if you're wife is mad, she can have you arrested unless you have permit to fuck.'

The Muslim man was taking this conversation very seriously. He asked where he could get this permit. The first man said - 'at city hall.'

'What should I ask for?'
'See the City Clerk and tell her that you want a Cuomo fucking permit. She'll know what you want.'

While this conversation was taking place, the politician didn't say a word. He just got up and went to the bathroom because he couldn't hold it anymore. He went into the bathroom which was 7 feet away and started laughing his balls off. The Muslim man asked what was the matter with the guy in the bathroom.

The man with the mustache said that the politician was made because he had to buy a permit to have sex with his wife. The Muslim man said that in his country he didn't need a permit for that. The mustached man replied that 'The American government has a big dick and they want to fuck you from every corner.'