America, if you don't like it, you can always leave. The underworld organization profiles everything that moves. We profile whites and blacks, and any color in between. Is not about your color, its about your mentality. We not only profile humans, but also animals. For instance, the cat that lives next door. Everyone says, 'What a nice kitty he is.' But at the same time, he gangs up on my birds. The question is simple. If we are bad people in this country, then why are you here?

Tuesday, August 04, 2009

Top Secret Viagra

It has been said that through American news broadcasting that the manufacturers of Viagra and Cialis are willing to give people who lost their job a free one year supply of pills. So you can criticize American's all you want, but deep inside they have a good heart. Beacause many other nations know we have a good heart, they believe they can screw us. In order to understand the point, we need to go back in time to 1948 after the Americans liberated Europe from the Nazis. After WWII ended, life was worse than hell in Europe. The place that we want to take you is called the Triangle of Central Europe.

First find a city called Montenegro. Then draw a line to Montelepre. Then you need to go to Monte Cristo. However, Monte Cristo is not a city, it is a monument. If you profile Leon Panetta's roots, you will find Monte Cristo. So let's go back to Montenegro. The region is ruled by the Muslim gypsy. Their goal is to go city by city, steal what they can and disappear into the night. As a matter of fact, last year at this time, we met a gypsy who lives in Texas. After we had a non-friendly conversation, he was really pissed. He told us that we have more gypsies in America than any part of the world except he said they are from Puerto Rico. In any event, in Montelebre was a city ruled by the Sicilian Mafia. A man named Turiddu Giuliano became famous when he took the law into his own hands. He claimed at that time that law inforcement stole food from the poor and sold it in the black market for top price.

In Monte Cristo, the best masterminds in the world were born. In the fall of 1948 there was no TV or newspaper. Only a few people had radio and electricity. There was no running water or sewer lines. If you had to piss or shit, you had to do it in a can and stick it under the bed until morning when the honey-wagon came by. This event still takes place in many parts of the world today.

In the fall, when the temperature started to cool down, people lit small fires by the road. If you didnt' have anything to do, you'd sit by the fire and listen to the stories that the older people told. The main story was all about war...between America and Russia. We'd debate who would win and who would lose. The majority of the people didn't trust the Russians or Communist Party. They always played a double game. The best part was the American woman. An old man said he saw a movie that showed American women who loved to have sex.

Years later, whenever we see an American woman, that's what we think, even though in the woman's mind they don't really want to have sex.

But the hottest item from America was a pack of Camel cigarettes which were introduced by American troops during the war. If you offered a pack of original Camels, he would kill 5 people without hesitation.

When we see the Taliban we see the way they think and live. In 2008, the CIA started to reward soem of the tribal leaders in Afghanistan with Viagra. We think this is a brilliant idea. Some of the old people started to take Viagra and were impressed how quickly it worked. They told their wives that they wanted to have sex. Their wives wondered how they could do it now when they couldn't after so many years.

So the next day they wanted more sex. Their wives didn't have any idea what was happening. The third day, the leaders wanted more sex. One wife refused and asked why and how he could want sex every day. The husband replied that this was a miracle from Mohammud. The wife didnt' buy this bullshit and she refused to have sex. Other tribal leaders had the same problems with their wives. So they filed a complaint to the ministry of Afghanistan to make a new law. They wanted to make it where any wife who refused to have sex would be put in jail.

We believe that the CIA would use a better system by offering the women Spanish Fly. The truth is that it doesn't matter which way you turn. Your agency always gets the middle finger up your pipeline. Your number one enemies are your politicians. If we were looking for a job, your agency would be the last place we would apply. We would be more comfortable applying for a job in the mob than in the CIA.

Take a look at Dick Cheney. He discussed the identity of the people who worked for the agency for political gain. In the middle of May 2009, he went on national TV and told the world that Obama is making the nation less secure by closing Guantanamo. In other words, he is saying that the FBI and CIA don't ahve the ability to defend the country. They are their to smoke big cigars and collect a salary. Cheney claimed he kept America safe for 8 years. What kind of drugs is he on. 9/11 took place 9 months after they had control of America.

Also, Nancy Pelosi told Americans that the CIA are liars and that they never told her about waterboarding. We don't think she has any clue what waterboarding was all about. In any event, this was a stupid idea. You don't collect information from your enemy from waterboarding. We use a more civilized system. Let's assume we want to collect information from Nancy Pelosi. We would bring her to a fancy restaurant and offer her a drink called an Obama. This is no joke. There is an Obama drink that was introduced to us in the Muslim world. You can't get it in America. They call it San Marzano and it has a muslim emblem on it. According to the information on the bottle, it is made in Tarando Italy. After we offered her two Obama drinks, her mentality would go into overdrive. By the time we had dinner we would make eye contact and tell her that she's beautiful. By saying that you are sending a message to her brain to relax and trust us.

After the dinner we would take her to a fancy motel room with moderate music. We would also offer her another drink. After the 5th drink we'd ask her to smok a joint. According to our intelligence, 99.9% of women would say yes after 3 or 4 drags. Her mentality will go on to overdrive. We will remind her that she is beautiful and smart and you are willing to make her happy. In the meantime, tell her that it is hot in this room. This must be global warming.

If you tell most of the Democrats that this is global warming they will take their clothes off and start to suck her nipple. Then she'll start to sing like a bird. Who knows? After she stops singing, beautiful things could happen.

1 Comments:

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